The Tale of Tobias and the Angel (continued)

Now the Adversary the Devil went as a ranting and a roaring lion, absolutely bloody furious and with a sore head too, lucky it was only a back copy of the ODM and not a Peake's Commentary like that time in Ely, hell's bells he was only there as an observer, ensure fair play, ha, not much chance of that, but then nobody ever said that there was. And it seemed to him that he had nevertheless won his bet, since he could still feel his ballocks burning, and now it was time to claim his prize, no way that goodbodied bastard could've kept from syn. For this reason he was much puffed up with pride as he kicked the stand down on his Harley-David's Son and hung his coalscuttle helmet on the handlebarse. Therefore he strode up to the Everlasting Doors and flung them wide with a great shout of yamaha, sorry Triumph.

That's odd, he thought, it's a bit quiet today... He walked out onto the Sea of Glass towards the Presence, unchallenged. And behold, it was relatively dark, for they'd only got the working lights on. And there was silence in Heaven, that he cried with a phony meggly great voice, Hail! But answer came there none, save only the distant echos replying hail, hail, halo, for the acoustic had many such designed-in jokes. Then did he lift his eyes unto the Throne, and marvelled greatly, for it was empty and void, neither sat any bugger there at all in fact. Now the Adversary the Devil fearing mightily what manner of Joke this might be, trod full warily, lest They suddenly spring out upon him with a main cry, saying unto him, Boo. Then did his foot strike against something lying cast down upon the glassy sea, that he bent down and picked it up and lo! it was a golden coloured crown. Cardboard! What the. In fear and trembling he advanced now unto the very Throne itself where never before had any set foot prior to this save only the great Archangels himself included at one time of course before the regrettable misunderstanding over the issue of whatever it was, he'd forgotten now, he actually, gosh yes this is my big moment, at last after all this time, he couldn't believe his luck, hey, is it a Joke? Is the dreadful thunderbolt even now being shoved up the spout, the crosshairs on his shrinking scrotum, first pressure being taken as he so slowly and carefully lowers his great big arse right onto the

Huh. And he spake a second time, saying, Huh. And a third time, Huh, there, ha! Ha ha ha, he he he did have the whole place utterly in derision and all to himself! Bloody marvellous! That's better! To reign in Heaven than- SODDING HELL!

"Sorry if I startled you, I said are you going to be very long because I want to lock up." An elderly, donnish cupid jingles a large bunch of claves regni caelorum.

"Who! What! But!"

"Oh you've found it, good, I thought I only counted twenty three, that's handy because they've got to go back to Stratford tomorrow."